ChallengingtheHimalayas,ChallengingtheHimalayas范文
Challenging the Himalayas
Two years ago, it is reported that due to storm and avalanche, the Shan Ying Association of Beijing University lost 4 members while challenging the Himalayas. All the 4 members are amateurish mountaineers, still on campus. The tragic incident soon brought a heated argument in the media.
Some people, mainly represented by youngsters, justify their courage and determination, whereas quite many others condemn their adventure and hastiness. The focus of the two sides is whether their sacrifice makes sense. As for me, apart from the sorrow, they give us courage and strength. Given the chance, I am sure to take part in the exploration.
Being a special kind of sports, mountaineering requires strong constitution and tough mind. Not only should they be physically fit for the bitter environment, but also should they learn various techniques for climbing and survival. What's more, they're not supposed to fulfill the goal without courage and bravery, which tell mountaineering apart from other outdoor activities. Equipped with a belief to success as well as advanced climbing gears, they are on the move.
Movies named "Apollo the 13th" or "Vertical Limit" told us that spectacular sights can't be seen without firm will and desperate efforts. To unfold the fabulous scene, you may have to take the exhausting trip to the camp, holding an upbeat morale;you may have to strive for survival in the storm, grasping teammate's hand; you may have to smooth away whatever obstacles got in your way, your destination is the peak of the mountain.This was what they had experienced when ascending. Had they conquered the peak, what a spectacle they would have seen:nothing can be compared with the unprecedented feeling that they are at the top of the world. Clouds are haunting around them; the sunlight is beaming from the bottom of the sky. So is the place, where even eagles surrender, the only place not disturbed by prosperity. Granted that they fail to make the history,their spirit will never die.
Today, mountain climbing is attached to another meaning:it has become the symbol of a nation's vitality. Peaking a mountain is more than breaking a record, it's the proof of a generation's courage and bravery, and the denial of it will sink the pride of their being fearless and the aspiration for their dreams.
On the other hand, adventure, to some extent, means risk.Avalanche being unpredictable even to sophisticated mountaineers, no one could expect the tragedy. What we can do is to remember the young heroes. It was them who pursued their dreams bravely. It was them who inspired us to be fearless of any difficulties.
简 评
这是一次搏击，还是徒然的牺牲?生命诚然宝贵，但生命所传载的精神更加伟大。他们的梦想是站在至高处，得知世界的奇妙；纵然肉体衰亡了，但他们的精神却为历史写下了新的篇章。
陈振航同学落笔有激情，多处采用了煽情描写，如一段描述登山者实现梦想的文字“Clouds are haunting around them；the sunlight is beaming from the bottom“the sky．So is the place，where even eagles surrender，the only place not disturbed by prospemty．Granted that they fail to make the history，their spirit will never die．”
但作为一篇论说文，文章的说理性不强，论述缺少层次感。文章处处流露出笔者对登山运动的热爱和向往，文章描写过于煽情，这就削弱了文章的说理力度，打破了论说文的写作模式，更像是一篇随笔散文。论说文的语言应该精练、扼要、有理、有力，煽情文字不宜过多。
在写作技巧方面，论说文要求层次清晰、条理分明。可以使用一些关联词，如tobeginwith，then，next，at last等，使文章的论述更清晰，增强文章的层次感。
(点评教师：卢爱华)
Challenging the Himalayas