这不是极端的政策
Not This Extreme Policy
Now there is a discussion over whether it is right to adopt the policy to allow people who have received high education, especially those who got their degrees abroad to have more than one child while others can＇t. Considering it brutality, I don＇t agree to such an inhumane policy.
According to eugenics, this policy may benefit us in short term. We have to confess the importance of family education.Being the first ones to enlighten their children, parents actually play the role of a life-long teacher to their children, too, having great influence on them. Well-educated parents may probably do better in bringing up children and help them develop better both mentally and physically. Thus, this policy maybe, to some extent, contributes to the development of our nation.
However, extremely unfair as this policy is, it will undoubtedly do more harm than its would-be advantages. Progeniture is our basic human right, and family planning is the policy we adopted together to stop the overgrowth of people. It is seen as discrimination towards those who are ordinarily educated to allow people with high diploma to bear more children only. This policy runs counter to "freedom, equality and fraternal love" as we＇ve long claimed. It might even cause serious political problem.
What＇s more, in my point of view, a good diploma is not necessarily equal to knowledge. Yet, knowledge doesn＇t mean everything. We should not only judge a person merely by his education level, but by his abilities and skills and health and morality and personality as well. Furthermore, one＇s education level is not only influenced by his gene but by the financial circumstances, the culture of their families, the surroundings and many other factors. Ordinary people may have their own greatness.
Einstein＇s parents hadn＇t been to any college. If we had forbidden them to have this child, what would the world be? Knowledge doesn＇t easily mean superiority.
So radical a policy will not do good to our society. Actually,as far as I am concerned, putting more money to education is far more practical, which will help to form a good atmosphere for education and knowledge, thus lifting up the level of our whole nation. Only this is a long-term solution.
简 评
人口问题一直是一个敏感的话题。已经执行了二十多年的计划生育可以向这些高学历、洋博士们开绿灯吗?高云霞同学一针见血地指出了这一政策的不合理性。
习作结构紧凑，节奏感强，段落之间有紧密的逻辑关系。如第二段看似讲这一政策的合理性，而且似已经推出了一个合理结论，但突然第三段开始笔峰一转，态度坚决地阐明了自己的立场，“It is seen as discrimination towards those who are ordinarily educated tO allow people with high diploma to bear morechildren only．This policy runs counter to·Freedom，equality and fraternal love＇as we＇ve long claimed．”又如，第四段先以三个否定句作铺垫，引出了“Ordinary people may have their own greatness．”的结论，并且追加了Einstein的例子，恰当、准确、有说服力。
高云霞同学的语言流畅，表达准确。值得一提的是，她在两次阐述立场时，都采用了倒装的表达方式，如：“However，extremely unfair as this policy is，“will undoubtedlydO more harmthan ts would—be advantages．”又如：“So radical a policy will not do good toour society．”倒装句的使用，吸引了读者的注意力，突出了她的立场观点。这也是论说文中常用的表达技巧之一。
(点评教师：卢爱华)