场景描写:在海里游泳-SwimmingintheSea
在海里游泳
【内容提示】
炎热的夏天，你去青岛旅行。一天下午，你去海滨避暑，第一次在海水里游泳。看到大浪，听到涛声，起初你有些害怕。但当看见一个弱小的男孩向大海游去时，你感到害臊。受到小男孩的鼓舞，你向前游去，经受了狂涛大浪的洗礼。
【作文示范】
Swimming in the Sea
It was in hot summer that I took a trip to Qingdao, a port city in Shandong Province, One afternoon, I decided to go to the seaside to get relief ① from the heat. For the first time in my life, I swam in the sea.
At first, I was worried because though I was not a bad swimmer in the swimming pool, the sea was different. The waves coming one after another to the shore made a great noise and I thought they were going to swallow me up. I was terrified. Cautiously ② and slowly, I went close to the water. How cold it was! I was just about to give it up when I suddenly caught sight of a small boy who was about a head shorter than me. Weak as he seemed, he went straight into the sea without hesitation. I felt a little ashamed.“What a timid ③ girl I am!”I said to myself.
Encouraged by his bravery ④, I continued advancing. Soon all of my body was covered by water. Before I got ready for a dive, a wave came over. It struck my face heavily and the water went into my eyes, nose and mouth. How bitter and salty it tasted! But I was not discouraged at all. I wiped off the water on my face, took a deep breath, and began swimming happily.
The waves became larger and larger, as if the sea was angry with me. When I saw a wave in the distance, I would hold my breath, and just before it came to where I was, I jumped up and easily kept myself from it. How exciting! I was just like lying on the clouds!
All that afternoon, I swam and jumped and had a very good time. When finally I had to leave, I took a last look at the sea. The waves were still beating the shore, but I was no longer frightened. “I must thank that little boy,”I said to myself.“It was he who gave me the courage.”
【词语解释】
①relief [ri＇li:f] n. 减轻；解除
②cautiously [＇k&:M+sli] ad. 谨慎地；细心地
③timid [＇timid] a. 胆怯的；缺乏自信心的
④bravery [＇breiv+ri] n. 勇敢；大胆
【写法指要】
1）本文作者写了她第一次在海里游泳的情况。但是，她主要不是叙述自己如何游泳，而是描写她由胆怯到勇敢，甚至敢于与惊涛骇浪争高下的转变过程。
2）作者在文中使用了拟人和明喻两种修辞格：前者如“…swallow me up….”和“…as if the sea was angry with me….”，后者如“It was just like lying on the clouds.”。此外，有些句型如“… be just about to do…when….”，“Weak as he seemed….”用得很好，值得借鉴。