高中英语最新力作欣赏与点评
music
习作原文
do you like music ?what kinds of music do you like ?music is mainly divided into four parts :classcial ,pop, rock and roll, jazz. if you are insomnia ,you can listen to beethoven's moonlight ,and if you feel lonely ,you can listen to john straus' the blue danube.
music is a way of relaxing as well as a way of communication .by listen to music you can learn more you can't find in books ,we may not learn all the knowledge ,but we can't be an idiot on music.
school is a place for study ,but it also needs music.
评 分
98分
级 别
优秀
批 改
1.by listen to music you can learn more you can't find in books ,文中more 改为“much”，不需要用比较级，后面加which 或者that 更流畅。另外,listen改为listening.
2.we may not learn all the knowledge ,but we can't be an idiot on music. 这句话可以和前面隔开，作为单独一个句子。句中“we can't be an idiot”单复数用法不一致，应改为“we can't be idiots ”
3.we may not learn all the knowledge ,建议改为“maybe we can not learn all the knowledge ”，仅作参考
参考例句(文)
1.by listening to music you can learn much that you can't find in books
2.maybe we can not learn all the knowledge ,
点 评
本文短小，言简意赅，表达了对音乐的喜欢，内容活泼，如果篇幅再长点，内容更丰满些，效果会更好。文中语法时态错误很少，是一篇很好的文章。
给 分 理 由
1.文章中两处小的瑕疵，各扣1分。
本文文笔流畅，观点鲜明，是一篇很好的小短文，如果内容上可以更丰满一些，档次会更高。
批改满意度
100%